House: bureaucracy
Mar. 21st, 2008 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
glaurungI am not doing very well with keeping these progress reports up-to-date. Here it is March 21st and our story has been stalled back in January for close to two months. It has to be told, however, so that our RL friends, who have been asking, can be given some kind of idea of How Things Have Gone.
So, we very quickly went from demolition to framing, followed by a period of getting all new wiring, ducting, and plumbing. Things proceeded swimmingly for about three weeks. Then Shawn started trying to get the inspector to come over to look at the structure and the plumbing rough-in. There was some urgency to this, as he had a long-scheduled vacation coming up, and he wanted to have a pass in hand so his lieutenant could start putting up the drywall in his absence. And now let me present you with a little timeline:
[Note: events are presented in "LOL-speak" because otherwise it would be no fun and all frustration to revisit this annoying and stressful comedy of bureaucratic WTFs]
I have omitted from the above, relatively sparse and uninteresting summary, all of the leaps into pits of despair, stress-outs, and wailings and gnashings of teeth that we experienced during the bureaucratic interregnum. I have also probably omitted one or more instances of the Weather Gods dumping another 20 cm of snow on Toronto, as that event happened so many times during February and March that I gave up all attempts of keeping track many weeks ago (thanks to global warming plus La Nina, this winter broke all records for snowfall in Toronto since ~1928).
As a postscript to the saga of the building inspector and his desire to see plans that showed what Shawn had actually built, I should note that since Feburary 20th, Shawn has called the inspector at least a dozen times to come in and look at the vapour barrier, the foundation holes for the concrete sonotubes that support our deck, and now, most recently, to look at the deck itself. The inspector has not returned any of those calls, and still has yet to come out and pass any of the stages since structure and plumbing rough-in that he is supposed to pass. Shawn has been able to continue with construction only because he owns a digital camera and has taken copious pictures of everything so that he can prove, when the inspector finally gets around to coming by, that he did it the way it's supposed to be done.
So, one would think that would be the end of it, but noo. The gods of bureaucracy were not done making our lives miserable. A relatively new by-law requires us to keep the parking space that came with our house. This despite the fact that we own no car, and have guests over who own a car less than ten days out of the year.
We had to demolish the existing parking space (represented by the garage) to make an accessible entrance for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
morgan_dhu. We also, thanks to the EVIL, budget-breaking knob and tube, had no money to create a new parking spot. So we kludged a solution by which the front 2/3rds of the concrete floor of the garage would become a parking pad, hemmed in on three sides by the wall of the house, the deck, and the accessible stairs:
This made the parking pad about 4 feet shorter than the 18 2/3 foot long size required by the city. After making enquiries, we felt that we would be able to resolve this issue by getting permission to have the parking spot extend partly onto the city boulevard (ie, the grassy area owned by the city between our property and the side street). Our draftsperson advised us, however, to not call anyone's attention to the fact that there wasn't quite enough room for a regulation-sized parking spot, at least not when we were getting the original permit from City Hall back in January. So we didn't mention it, and nobody twigged to the fact that the dimensions of the parking spot were not quite adequate.
Their not noticing was facilitated by our draftsperson's labelling the parking area as "5.7 x 3 meter parking spot to be provided." - In other words, not actually saying how big it is, but how big it is supposed to be. Sadly, their not noticing ended shortly after we were given the revised permits.
The truly bizarre thing about this little parking space episode is that it was all about submitting a drawing that met certain bureaucratic requirements. Nobody seemed to actually care about whether or not we implemented the parking spot shown on the drawings in reality. Such is life in the world of bureaucracy.
Next time: I make efforts to catch up to the present in this overly belated narrative, as things start coming together very fast, and we acquire walls, plaster, paint, and the like.
So, we very quickly went from demolition to framing, followed by a period of getting all new wiring, ducting, and plumbing. Things proceeded swimmingly for about three weeks. Then Shawn started trying to get the inspector to come over to look at the structure and the plumbing rough-in. There was some urgency to this, as he had a long-scheduled vacation coming up, and he wanted to have a pass in hand so his lieutenant could start putting up the drywall in his absence. And now let me present you with a little timeline:
[Note: events are presented in "LOL-speak" because otherwise it would be no fun and all frustration to revisit this annoying and stressful comedy of bureaucratic WTFs]
January 31st:
Shawn: Can has inspection?
Inspector: OK, tomorrow morning.
February 1st: [20 cm of snow falls on Toronto; the inspector does not show up]
February 4th (a Monday):
Everyone: [looks outside] Can has snow plow?
Shawn: Can has inspection?
Inspector: OK, we try again tomorrow.
February 5th:
Inspector: [crickets]
Shawn: [tired of waiting] I is going on vacation 2 Cancun tomorrow night. I must go does other stuff. [leaves]
Inspector: Here I am at last!
Electricians: Shawn had 2 go run errand. U has cellphone?
Inspector: No, I no has phone, I is primitive.
Electricians: Here, use our phone, call Shawn.
Inspector: Shawn, U no has accurate drawings, floor joists run other way than shown. Also, U used regular lumber instead of LVL manufactured stuff in ceiling beam, not according 2 drawings.
Inspector: Drawings are God. U no has pass.
Shawn: Well Shit.
Shawn: [calls us] We no has pass. We need revised drawings ASAP. Also, we may not finish on time.
Us: Well shit. OK, we call draftsperson.
Draftsperson: OK, I meet Shawn tomorrow at house, we fix drawings, I take 2 City Hall 4U.
February 6th (morning):
Draftsperson: OK, I has seen floor joists and ceiling beam. I make revised drawings, get them 2 my engineer, then take them 2 City Hall 4U later this week, we get revised permit.
Shawn:
February 6th (evening): [another 25 cm of snow falls on Toronto]
February 8 (a Friday):
Draftsperson: I has been 2 City Hall. They no give me fast track approval while I wait. They no give anyone fast track, they in meeting or something. They has application, U should has revised permit Monday or Tuesday.
February 12 (a Tuesday):
Draftsperson: No has revised permit. Plans examiner iz not returning my calls.
Bobby: I ask 4 pass on plumbing, at least. Building inspector iz not returning my calls. Can't do anything more without pass.
February 13: [another 20 cm of snow falls on Toronto]
February 14:
Draftsperson: [goes to city hall, yells at people].
Draftsperson: Plans examiner was out today. I leave message 4 him 2 plz look at our application 1st thing tomorrow.
February 15 (a Friday):
Plans inspector: Oh, OK, U can has revised permit.
Bobby: I go pick up stamped drawings from City Hall today, call building inspector. Monday iz a bank holiday, but we get reinspection ASAP after that.
February 19:
Bobby: Can has inspection?
Inspector: OK, tomorrow.
Shawn: [returns from vacation] That felt good. I had wonderful time, and my daughter learned 2 climb down stairs backwards.
February 20:
Inspector: [looks at drawings] OK, U can has pass.
Shawn: [looks at complete lack of progress since he left] That sux. [calls us] Can has 10 day extension on deadline?
Us: Bureaucracy sux. OK, U can has extension.
I have omitted from the above, relatively sparse and uninteresting summary, all of the leaps into pits of despair, stress-outs, and wailings and gnashings of teeth that we experienced during the bureaucratic interregnum. I have also probably omitted one or more instances of the Weather Gods dumping another 20 cm of snow on Toronto, as that event happened so many times during February and March that I gave up all attempts of keeping track many weeks ago (thanks to global warming plus La Nina, this winter broke all records for snowfall in Toronto since ~1928).
As a postscript to the saga of the building inspector and his desire to see plans that showed what Shawn had actually built, I should note that since Feburary 20th, Shawn has called the inspector at least a dozen times to come in and look at the vapour barrier, the foundation holes for the concrete sonotubes that support our deck, and now, most recently, to look at the deck itself. The inspector has not returned any of those calls, and still has yet to come out and pass any of the stages since structure and plumbing rough-in that he is supposed to pass. Shawn has been able to continue with construction only because he owns a digital camera and has taken copious pictures of everything so that he can prove, when the inspector finally gets around to coming by, that he did it the way it's supposed to be done.
So, one would think that would be the end of it, but noo. The gods of bureaucracy were not done making our lives miserable. A relatively new by-law requires us to keep the parking space that came with our house. This despite the fact that we own no car, and have guests over who own a car less than ten days out of the year.
We had to demolish the existing parking space (represented by the garage) to make an accessible entrance for
morgan_dhu. We also, thanks to the EVIL, budget-breaking knob and tube, had no money to create a new parking spot. So we kludged a solution by which the front 2/3rds of the concrete floor of the garage would become a parking pad, hemmed in on three sides by the wall of the house, the deck, and the accessible stairs:This made the parking pad about 4 feet shorter than the 18 2/3 foot long size required by the city. After making enquiries, we felt that we would be able to resolve this issue by getting permission to have the parking spot extend partly onto the city boulevard (ie, the grassy area owned by the city between our property and the side street). Our draftsperson advised us, however, to not call anyone's attention to the fact that there wasn't quite enough room for a regulation-sized parking spot, at least not when we were getting the original permit from City Hall back in January. So we didn't mention it, and nobody twigged to the fact that the dimensions of the parking spot were not quite adequate.
Their not noticing was facilitated by our draftsperson's labelling the parking area as "5.7 x 3 meter parking spot to be provided." - In other words, not actually saying how big it is, but how big it is supposed to be. Sadly, their not noticing ended shortly after we were given the revised permits.
February 25:
Plans examiner: Oops, I make mistake. Ur site plan iz wrong, has no room 4 parking spot.
PE: U was misinformed. Iz not allowed.
G_Q: What iz allowed?
PE: U need 2 submit new drawing, show parking spot off 2 side of deck, in Ur back yard.
G_Q: This not get built right away, not before summer at least.
PE: That OK, but I need 2 see new drawing.
G_Q: Will this affect on our permit 2 build, or inspections?
PE: No, I onlys need a drawing.
G_Q: OK. [calls draftsperson]
February 26:
Draftsperson:
Plans examiner: [crickets]
March 3:
Plans examiner: Oh, this iz no good. U cannot has change in driveway on boulevard without permit from roads department.
Draftsperson:
March 4:
Plans examiner: This iz OK. Plz bring Ur stamped permits in so I can attach new site plan to them.
PE: OK, whatever.
The truly bizarre thing about this little parking space episode is that it was all about submitting a drawing that met certain bureaucratic requirements. Nobody seemed to actually care about whether or not we implemented the parking spot shown on the drawings in reality. Such is life in the world of bureaucracy.
Next time: I make efforts to catch up to the present in this overly belated narrative, as things start coming together very fast, and we acquire walls, plaster, paint, and the like.