Image: A very unstable LEGO gummie tractor made from a packet picked up at Minicon (GPS room)

My second (and last, as it happens,) day at MInicon was a real mixed bag and I am, in fact, still sorting out a lot of how I feel about it. As I noted in the previous post, most of my panels (4 out of 5) felt no better than 'meh,' with at least two of them sinking to 'is this an unmitigated diaster??? I think this might be a disaster!!' in my book.

But, it's possible that my standards out of whack. And, at least one person in the audience of one of the panels I thought was possibly The BIGGEST trainwreck, actually said that most of what I told her about privately was not at all visible to the audience (which is good!) She had a great time and thought the panel was fun. The problem may just be me.

So, take everything below with a very large heaping of salt.

 
Saturday

My first panel on Saturday wasn't until 11:30 am and so Shawn and I did our usual alliterative errands. We went to the cardborad recycling place, the coffee shop and stopped for cardamom spinners at Brake Bread (yes, spelled like that. They are a drive-up and bicycle delivering--as in, home deliveries by bicycle--bakery, so it's the screeeeeeeech of braking suddenly that they are evoking, along with the pun on breaking bread, of course, I believe.)  But, so I got to have fancy coffee and fancy food before heading off to Bloomington and the convention.

My first panel of the day yesterday was the one I was most concerned about, "The Monkey King Travels West." While I was willing to name names in the previous post, I am going to be a little more circumspect in this post, since the person I had the most issues with will very likely be the one to decide if I'm on paneling again next year. 

I can't even say that the pre-panel chatter started well.

I was, at least, delighted to have Delia I. to my left and Anna W. to my right. ( CW: transphobia )

Because, once we got underway, I was still upset on Phoenix's behalf and on behalf of all the queer folks in the room (including myself) and so I was not really in the mood to try to follow the moderator's questions, some of which seemed a bit rambling and all over the place. Like, was this about the legendary figure of the Monkey King or was it about the cross-pollenation between Eastern media and Western and vice versa? The answer seemed to be [cue: meme] "Both! Why not both?"Which might have worked if the moderator had a better hypothesis, you know? Instead it was, as I said, disjointed at best and, of course, I was struggling to engage.  This moderator, too, has a tendency to hog the microphone, which is generally not considered best practices.

Let's just say I was happy when it was over and I fled.

Delia I. was hot on my heels. Delia had heard that there was a potato/taco bar in the GPS room happing RIGHT NOW, and so, having connected up with naomikritzer who was waiting for me outside the programming area, we all headed for much needed food and debriefing. We spent a huge amount of time in the GPS room, actually, talking to the various folks there and trying to build gummy LEGO vehicles from the packets they had available. Despite the picture above, mine was not successful in the room. We had all postulated that the gummies might work better if they were colder/stiffer, and that proved to be true of the leftover pack I took away with me--my fingers had been all over it, trying to build something (so, OF COURSE, I  had to take it home!) 

I ran off around 1 pm to meet up with one of my new pen pals, Roger P., who is actually in a gaming group with caffeine , who is someone else I had a tremendous amount of fun with spending time with at con (and getting to see pictures of the newest grandbaby!) Roger was not at con, so we met at a nearby (walkable) Caribou. Roger turned out to be just my sort, so we probably chatted for an hour or more? He brought a book that he wanted me to sign and so I did that. It was a nice break to get OUT of the con, too.

Surprisingly, Naomi was just where I left her so we continued to hang out there for much of the afternoon. We'd been thinking about going out to get Szechuan at a place Naomi loves and, in retrospect, I wish we had. We ended up having a great time in the hotel restraunt continuing our conversation with Aaron V G, but the service and the food were... iffy. Naomi and I both ordered the butternut squash ravioli, and this is what we got:



Image: Mediocre food masquerading as froo-froo.

The dark droozle of stuff was, I think, supposed to be balsamic something or other, but, insted, tasted like something WAY too sweet. It was edible, but, honestly, only barely. We also lost our server for a long time (I did not even see her flitting about taking care of other people in the restaurant) and I had to flag down another server (who actually turned out to be the manager) and see if we could order more food, etc., etc. I mean, at least this I understand. The hotel probably had a lot of trouble getting people who wanted to work on the Saturday before Easter Sunday. And, I mean, no harm, really. Thank goodness I had HOURS before I needed to be at my 7 pm panel.

Even though I would have missed the company, I do think the two of us would have been better off at Szechuan. 

At some point in here, I also wandered the Dealer's Room and happened to stumble across the author of O Human Star, Blue Delliquanti. jiawen recommended this web comic to me and it is AMAZING (and made me cry the good tears.) I had an absolute fucking fan squee freak out to actually meet Blue in-person. I may have said something stupid like, "Wait, wait, YOU wrote THIS??" which, I mean, why else would someone be sitting behind a display of the graphic novel set? Anyway, I gushed pretty incoherently at Blue about their art and stories and then I absolutely blew the budget I was set by buying all three volumes of O Human Star and had them sign them. 

I was wearing my ConFABulous t-shirt and so Blue mentioned that they thought they might like to attend that con sometime, and so I gave them my pitch for Gaylaxicon which is what ConFABulous will be THIS year. I need to remember to follow-up today and make sure to have John T. or Don K. reach out to them.

I am sure I am missing a bunch of other stuff that happened in here, but now we move on to Disaster #2, "The Pitfalls and Benefits of Writing Humor."

We were down a moderator because the person who was supposed to take that role was, I believe, sick or otherwise unable to come to con. I was a little thrown at the beginning of the panel when Wesley suggested that the audience boo the missing panelist, but okay. We all joked that we should take turns moderating and so Wesley assigned himself the role of "the one who reads the panel description," and I assigned myself the role of "the person who suggests we all introduce ourselves and picks who we start with." This was mostly all fine (booing aside,) and then... somehow the Monkey King came to haunt me again.

Again I am going to be a little more circumspect about the panelist I am about to discuss because she is actually a very good friend of mine, who I think just misstepped BADLY. 

But, y'all, it was bad.

( CW: micro-agressions and racism )

I have NO IDEA what my friend says to Wesley or how he takes it, because I am intercepting Wesley's liason to let him know that Wesley might need a STIFF DRINK after this panel and this would be why.

I had two more panels to go before I could go home

Again, however, I asked a friend of mine who was in the audience how this whole scene played out to her, and I think we were really lucky that the microphones in that room were kind of crap and I'm not sure how sure how much of it was heard by anyone but the panelists and the first few rows. My friend was seated in the middle and said she tuned out the whole Monkey King thing because she had no interest in any of that and so had no idea anything had really happened. 

After the debacle that was the Humor panel, I flagged down one of my fellow panelists, Ozgur, for the next one ("The Restaurant at the End of the Book," for which I am the moderator) and asked him if he would be willing to be a stealth co-moderator, There is one panelist that could be a problem, and I had seen that person at the bar, so 50/50 they were sober. So, I said to Ozgur that if I seem to be floundering to please jump in and help me wrestle the topic back to plumb. He agreed.

Thus armed, I went into the next one.

Turns out? This was the best panel I was on all weekend. The panelist I was worried about? A perfect addtion to the panel, extremely lively in all the right ways. We stayed on topic with only a few, very natural diversions into related topics, like the history of certain foods, etc. I think panelists were happy because I asked those that created recipes for their books to share them, and at the end, I made sure that anyone who had things they wanted to plug had the opportunity to do so. Ozgur never had to rescue me, and, more importantly, IT WAS FUN.

My last panel was "Who is Voting for Team Rocket?" and our moderator decided to take that literally and had a fun little part at the end where we voted on various villains in various catagories and whoever suggested them won a small figurine that she had picked up at the dollar store. This panel did not pop, but it also did not fail, so it slotted in nicely to the 'it was okay' set of panels. 

What a wild damn ride.

This is not my usual experience at Minicon at all. I am blaming the Monkey King, because clearly I have displeased him with my lack of knowledge. Hopefully a penance of several chapters of A Journey to the West will put my life's vibe back in order.

Image: con material--program book, table tent, pen and notebook


Friday Night
I will not bury the lead. Thank you to everyone who wished me luck with logistics. I MADE IT TO THE CON IN PLENTY OF TIME.

I got an email from a friend shortly after I posted my pre-con report on Friday afternoon, letting me know tht 494 was so backed up that a trip that should take 11 minutes was taking 36. So, I absolutely should NOT wait until 5 pm to head out if I wanted ot get there in time. This prompted me to call Shawn who also realized that she had a meeting with the Board of the Friends of the LIbrary (her volunteer gig) at 4:30 pm so she actually couldn't stay at work as long as she wanted to, anyway. Our compromise was that I would pick her up at 3:45 pm. That gave me plenty of time to get her back home and get ready to head out.

The highway was pretty awful. But when I left it was only just after 4 pm, so I had an hour and some change before I needed to panic. Thus, when I hit the slowdown near the interchange, I just went into my Zen driving mode. I listened to the songs on the radio and just let the ebb and flow of the stop and start just be whatever it was going to be. I often have a weird amount of patience for traffic jams? The thing is, there is really no point to getting upset (unless you are late and/or you really need to pee or something) because you can't make the traffic move any faster by yelling at it. I mean, don't get me wrong. I absolutely have also spent plenty of traffic jams yelling and fretting. Sometimes it's cathartic to just tell everyone else on the road how stupid they are. But this time I was able to just relax into it... and so I made record time. Somehow managed to get to the hotel by 4:30 pm.

The upside is that it gave me a chance to orient myself.


Image: an inflatable saucer, in the atrium, pool side, if you will.

For those of you less familiar with this convention, this was the first time (I believe) that Minicon has returned to a hotel that used to host us nearly since time immemorial. I have spent so much of my local con life in this particlar hotel (since, for a while it also hosted CONvergence) that I actually dream about its architecture. It's nooks and crannies are all well known to me. The only draw back to this 'muscle memory,' if you will, is that I still have, in my mind, a map that no longer perfectly overlays the current configuration, ala, "Dealer's room = this spot, programming = these rooms, Con Suite = this place."

Because of this, while I likely would have had plenty of time to actually get some food at the con suite, I ended up wandering around aimlessly. The good news is that I had a chance to check out the dealer's room a bit, say hello to a number of my panelists who were handselling their books, and figure out where my panel actually was. I talked to a couple of friends that I never see anywhere other than cons, specficially Greg J. who apparently spent his vacation last year bicycling all the way to Duluth which is hella impressive to me. He was very demure. "I took it easy. I only biked 40 miles a day." Meanwhile, I was thinking I would be exhausted after mile 5, but, honestly, good for him. It's absolutely the kind of thing I would enjoy if I could actually bike for that long and that far.

Of course, just as I was heading into my panel I ran into Eleanor A. and Ruth B. who invited me to dinner with them, but, at that point, it was about fifteen mintues until the start of my panel, and so I had to decline.

My first panel was "On Learning How to Write," and I was moderating.

I have to admit that some weird vibe was in the air for me for this whole convention. I only had ONE panel that rose above "meh" for me and at least two that I might classify as "unmitigated disasters."

"On Learning " fell into the 'meh' catagory and, I guess, as the moderator, I only have myself to blame. I thought the panelists were will chosen. We had a wide range career options--self-published, small press, and traditionally published. There was a time in my career when I might have been snotty about the fact that I, a PROFESSIONAL, was seated at the table with anyone who wasn't also traditionally published, but it's not 1998 anymore and lots and lots and lots of people I respect (including many of the folks on that panel with me) are having hybrid careers and/or are making a very fine living as small press or self-published authors. Lois McMaster Bujold and Ursula Vernon self-publish these days, for crying out loud. SFWA accepts self-published authors. The lines--which never needed to be there in the fist place--have been blurred to the point of zero distinction: Writers are writers.

I bring this up because it felt to me like Wesley Chu, who was Minicon's Guest of Honor this year, seemed a little prickly about these distinctions. He seemed to keep wanting to tell us how many books he has out, generally. More speficially, when the question of beta readers came up he seemed to want to go on and on about how beta readers are worthless because they're just some randos. At this point, I may have leaned into the microphone to note that my beta readers aren't randos. Not only are they people I trust and RESPECT but a number of them are multiple Hugo award winners--so maybe Wesley just needed a better set of friends.

Do I regret this in the sober light of day?

No, actually, I do not.

First of all, I also have beta readers who are not award-winners who are amazing and for WHOM I WOULD DIE FOR. I chose them because they understand me and my writing and I have read their writing and/or respect and admire their experise and intellect. My beta readers--ALL OF THEM, including those who beta read my fanfic--have HELPED ME IMPROVE MY CRAFT, full stop.

Second, do not dis the experise of the other panelists on my watch.

I will have you know that Ozgur Sahin is an award-winning author; Douglas Van Dyke is an award-winning author; Deb Kinnard had already started the panel out with a whole thing about "not being smart enough to be a science fiction author" and "only" being a romance author. (DEB I TOO AM A ROMANCE AUTHOR, HOW ABOUT WE DON'T.) Guy Stewart, who I know less about, had just finished telling a lovely story about how his DAUGHTER is his beta reader and I'm sorry. But I  don't care how many books you've had published, no one gets to call anyone's child a 'rando' or imply that they don't contribute in a meaningful way. My son has helped me work on my novels, including traditionally published ones.

So, yeah, that one probably could have gone better.

If there were extra prickly feelings afterwards, it's entirely my fault. I did pull Ozgur aside afterwards to ask what he thought of the panel (and spectifically our GoH's performance on it.) Ozgur had a generally a better sense of it and was much more willing to chalk some of the comments up to Imposter Syndrome and general nerves than I was. By chance, later, one of the audience members I ran into  said that they thoughs that particular panel was very encouraging, so at least I got across what I wanted the panel to be about--which is that there are lots of ways to learn the craft and none of them are wrong (or right, for that matter.) If you are writing you should do whatever feels right for you. Get words down on the page. That's the most important thing. And, to be fair to Wesley, he also reiterated that sentiment several times.

I will say that I went into the next panel I had with Wesley on Saturday fully willing to give him a second chance, but that panel was one of the two near unmitigated disaster panels, so.... more on that later.

To finish up Friday--I ended up finally making it over to the con suite to get some food. I ran into Mike S. there and his friend Tom (whose last name I have forgotten, if I was ever told it.) They both got up and started to leave, so I asked if they could have their table. They said yes, but then talked about going somewhere else to talk and I said, "Well, stay here! I would love your company." I think they were both surprised by this? But, I like Mike a lot. I got to know him a bit outside of convention space when I was regularly working at the Maplewood Library. We would run into each other there and talk about the books he was checking out, etc. Plus, he and I are mask buddies? In fact at one point on Saturday when we had finished eating at the potato/taco bar at the GIS room, he reminded me when it was time to mask back up. Plus, he and Tom are both interesting guys. Once Micheal Mirriam joined us, the talk turned to airplane near-accidents, and I learned that Tom was in the navy in (and I'm guessing here because he didn't say, but it sounded like probably) Vietnam. I loved hanging out with all of  them, and not only did we gather Michael M, but also pegkerr so it felt very much like a classic Minicon moment.

It felt like time to drift back towards the programming area and so I stood around near registration with Adam Stemple, Ari S., and Delia I.  Adam and were loud and boisterous (like we are--I later joked that we can easily be found by "echolocation," although in our case, you just follow the vibrations of our LOUDNESS until you spot us.) Eventually, it was time to go to naomikritzer 's panel on "The Female Gaze." The people on that panel did a good job, though I will confess I was not all that invested in the topic. I was there to see Naomi. We connected after for a little bit, which was nice, but I was turning into a pumpkin, so I didn't stay terribly long after.

This is getting a bit long and the next section on Saturday is likely to be even longer, so I'm going to break these in two. 

 I'm hoping to do an old-fashioned, LJ-era type con report for Minicon, which starts today.

I'm obviously not there yet. My first panel is tonight at 5:30 pm, which is an awkward time for me. I was shown my schedule several months ago, of course, but I didn't really fully consider the time slots. You maybe know how it is? I was more focused, at the time, on the subject matters and whether or not I thought I would be a good fit. I don't remember being asked if there were times and dates I couldn't do, but I also missed the first email that went out--it ended up in my spam box somehow. So, that's probably also on me.

At any rate, I could not have predicted that Shawn would be in the middle of performance review crunch time at work. She really wanted to be able to stay late and finish things up as today is her deadline for the last of them. And, since we are a one car family, I need to get her home and be on the road at LEAST by 5:00 pm and even that feels a little risky. (Highway 494 is under construction and 5:00 is rush hour.)  So, I am already anxious about everything and wondering when the heck I'm going to get a chance to even eat. Again, Shawn and I are old ladies and so we eat at 4:30-5:00 pm most days. There's just not going to be time for that.

Currently, the plan for food involves stopping at Breadsmiths on the way to pick her up and eating a sandwich in the car on the way to the con. Shawn, at least, has leftover homemade pasties in the fridge. Maybe those would be okay cold? I think there is enough for both of us to have one. Maybe I'm saved. We'll see.

Anyway, tonight will be kind of a stressful mess (at least partly of my own making) even before I actually sit down to try to moderate the panel. At least we were able to shift our date night to Thursday (last night) thanks to my writers' group Pendragons canceling. So, this was fun. We always do dinner and a movie or if you prefer, Netflix and chill (wink, wink.) Last night, Shawn and I ended up watching The Electric State. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this one. Did anyone else see it? It's brand new, a 2025 release, and has that annoying dude, Star Lord, in it--one of the Marvel Chris-es. (I think this is the one that's actually Minnesotan, originally from Virginia. Yes, Chris Pratt.) Shawn and I talked about it afterwards, like you do, and for us the problem was that it was absolutely 100% NOT a "feel good" movie. A lot of people that you get very invested in die. And, ( SPOILER ) So, I mean.... it's kind of hard to cheer at the end? There were a lot of other things we both liked about it, but you get to the end feeling very "..." which is not the stuff blockbuster movies are made of, you know? Not ones starring Chris Pratt and which have a lot of jocular humor in them. The tone just wasn't right at the beginning for that downer of an ending. At last not for us. I'd love to hear what you thought of it, if you've seen it.

But, back to tonight, I really can't be late to the con tonight because not only am I the moderator, but also one of the guests of honor, Wesley Chu, is going to be on the panel. I absolutely do not want to start out with my foot in it, you know? Especially since I have a panel later, on Saturday, with him as well. 

The subject matter of tonight's panel should be easy to moderate, I hope. It's "On Learning How to Write." The panel description itself gives a basic set of questions to start with and I have found that it's often not difficult to get writers to talk about their process and/or writing, in general. Of couse, now that I've said this, the panelists will all be taciturn and closed-mouthed and I'll have to break out a song and dance routine just to get through the hour or however long we have.

I think that's everything I'm pre-thinking about. I had a chance to look through the programming book, which is online as a .pdf at Minicon's main site: https://mnstf.org/minicon58/ There is a movie showing tonight in the Film Obscura room that actually interests me: "The New Mutants." I've long been a Marvel fan and I never made it to the theater to see this one, so I am vaguely tempted to hang around long enough tonight to catch it.

Oh, that's the other thing I failed to pay attention to in terms of my schedule, I am the OPPOSITE of a night owl (a morning lark!) and all my panels tomorrow go WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY past my bedtime. Like, I have one that starts at 10 pm. With my CoCoRaHS volunteering, too, I am actually required to be up before 7 am every single day of the week. I'm usually up by 5:30-6:00 am so that's not a huge problem, but it is more difficult when I don't get to bed until after 11 pm. And, I will be honest with you, my friends, I am in bed, sound asleep many nights by 8:30 pm. So, even having a panel that starts at 7 pm feels really LATE to me. 

I'm also likely going to one of very few people masking the entire time so that ought to be... interesting, as we say here in Minnesota. I know this makes me a Dolly Downer. But, y'all, no offense. It's not about your health status. I'm not judging you. My wife is immunocompromised. I'm sure you're bummed not to see my smiling face, but your momentary pleasure is not worth her life. Full stop. Sorry/not sorry. I had a very telling back and forth with someone in MNstF via text not that long ago, wherein it was patently clear that if I wanted to show up to the business meeting/party with a mask on, I wasn't welcome. So... that's extra fun.

I'm not really made for conventions any more, I am realizing. I used to be? But I was also thirty years younger back then.

Oh well. Bonus, just in time for people to be pulling back on all their virtual programming, too. Alack, alas, what do you do. I'm still expecting to have a great deal of fun this weekend. Maybe I'll see some of you all there!

 I had planned to post about the books I've been reading lately yesterday, of course, but in a good news/bad news sort of way, I ended up writing so much on the new novel that I lost track of time. As I was telling my writing accountablity Zoom group, I don't quite know what happened, but I hit a voice that I'm super comfortable in (not previously a POV character) and I'm running with it.

Enough about that. 

I've recently gotten very into audiobooks. After finishing The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey (which I sort of disliked, though not enough to quit listening to it), I picked up We Have Always Been Here by Leah Nguyen. I also somewhat disliked We Have Always Been Here. I never cottened to the main character/narrator, Park. I found her (at least how she was read to me) to be an unlikely combination of paranoid and clueless. Like, the book opens with Park having been poisoned. Because Park has been bullied all her life, she doesn't put much mind to this, even as weird shit starts happening all around her on the ship, including other people being attacked, she never goes back to "I wonder if any of this connects to what happened to me?" I don't know about you? But I hate when main characters don't seem interested in solving the plot and/or generally forget clues that, to the reader, seem like Big Deals. And being poisoned one day and having your mentor tell you "I have a project that is going to take up all my attention, you're now the main psychologist" feels like the sort of thing that a paranoid person should reallly start deep dive investigating. you know? Don't get me wrong. Park investigates the crap out of everything else going on in this ship, but she never connects any of it back to things that happen to herself. Worse, the big reveal at the end made me realize that had she done so, she would been directly led to one of the main villains.

But, the androids in the story get a good ending. They were who I cared about, so it worked out for me.

I'm now listening to The Sculpted Ship by K. M. O'Brien. I've been describing this book to people as a science fiction version of Legends & Lattes. The stakes are so low in The Sculpted Ship that if I were not already a fan of slice-of-life manga and thus have built-up a huge tolerance for people just wandering around and doing tasks, I probably would have fallen asleep listening to this. This is not a criticism per se, however, because, given the current political situation in the United States, a story that is essentially about THINGS WORKING OUT is exactly what the doctor ordered (for me, anyway.) 

I'm not quite finished with it and there does seem to be a little intrigue a foot here in the last 20% of the book, but I am hopeful that things will just work out as so many things before this have. That would be fine with me.

Speaking of slice-of-life manga, I read two "wandering around in a post-apocaplyptic world" science fiction manga in the past week. I read Usuzumi no Hate / The Color of the End: Mission in the Apocalypse by Iwamune Haruo and Shuumatsu Touring / Touring After the Apocalypse by Saito Sakae. Both of which I would highly recommend, with a few caveats. The Color of the End has a plague in it and there is a lot of death and dying, including suicide. Likewise, Touring After the Apocalypse has its dark/sad moments as well as some suicides. Weidly, despite those warnings, I found both of these manga to be hopeful and "quiet" in a "let's appreciate life while we have it" kind of way. Very appropriate for flower viewing season.

I also read a couple of family dramas:  Otona no Zukan Kaiteiban / Adults’ Picture Book New Edition by Itoi Kei and Kashikokute Yuuki Aru Kodomo / A Smart and Courageous Child by Yamamoto Miki. Both of which I liked, but mileage may vary. If you're at all interested in reading fuller reviews of any of the manga I've mentioned, feel free to check out my manga review site: https://mangakast.wordpress.com/

Speaking of manga, a quick plug for the old podcast. Yesterday we dropped our twenty-first episode, this time discussing the cyberpunk manga classic Blame! (https://open.spotify.com/show/11brxmJZjf3gnzltvwXI7H) I guess, I technically re-read that recently, too. Weirdly, despite the fact that the podcast is a lot of squee, I wouldn't necessarily recommend Blame! Technically, Blame! is also a lot of wandering around in a post-apocalyptic world, but it feels far less hopeful. In fact, the vibe is grim. It is interesting and pretty and action-packed, but it might not be what the soul needs right now, if you catch my meaning.

I think that's it. Otherwise, I've been writing a lot and prepping for Minicon. 

You?